- Turning Pain Into Pleasure @ Deviance & Desire - "BDSM practices of pain, allows the individual to feel “i exist in this world”. For some it is purely about exchange of pain sensation. The pain giver and the pain taker. For others it is part of a larger exhange of power. For example, between the Dom and the sub it is part of an intimate interpersonal relationship. In a way, we all are irrational humans pretending to be rational to live in a logical world where everything is structured, ordered and systematic. We’re all slightly broken in some way or another. The “broken” response to pain isn’t a weakness. It’s no less valid that any other response. The truth is, we may think we are perfect, but we are not. There will come a time where we lose control over our emotions and it is OKAY to be broken and desire pain. Sometimes we just need to find another broken individual who’s broken shape fits into ours."
- BDSM Might Not Be Therapy, But It Can Help @ Deviance & Desire - "In BDSM as Therapy, Lindemann’s article in Sage Journal (linked to at the end of this article), the author outline four overlapping types of “therapeutic” experiences that may be discovered in the process of engaging with BDSM activities: • as healthful alternatives to sexual repression.• as atonement rituals.• as mechanisms for gaining control over prior trauma. • and (in the case of ‘humiliation sessions’) as processes through which clients experience psychological revitalization through shame"
- How I used kink, BDSM to treat my depression and save my relationship - live. laugh. love. @ LTASEX
- B.E.S.T slave training - "Behavior:Emotions:Self-Image:Thoughts"
- Borderline Personality Disorder Archives - Deviance & Desire @ BDSM In the Mind
- Being Broken Archives - Deviance & Desire @ BDSM in the mind
- What does Crymax mean?
- Out of the Shadows: About BDSM, Part 4:Therapy and Behavioral Modification in BDSM
- Broken Toys: Submissive with mental illness
- When Your Submissive Has Major Depressive Disorder
- ON SUBMISSION AND SELF-ESTEEM by Girl on the net
- Can humiliation fetishes be psychologically damaging? - "So to tie that all together my question back would be: is this person using their kink to lift them out of depression or is it to momentarily ease their painful existence? I hope that doesn't come across as devaluing the use of kink to ease pain, because I genuinely believe that is an OK thing to do, but I would want to know what effect my actions are having in their life. It is important because we may be enabling a partner, reinforcing depression, or doing harm.As a side note, one of my favourite articles (unfortunately behind a pay wall but you can read the abstract) by sex therapist Peggy Kleinplatz, tackles the issue of SM with sexual abuse survivors. One lesbian couple she treats in the article had both experienced rape, got into a sexless relationship, and then use S/M as a healing experience together. Their story really highlights the profound learning and growth that can be experienced when respect and care is taken to explore each other....." - sdaciuk @ Reddit
Subdrop
- The Emotional Side of Sub Drop @ Submissive Guide
- What is Sub-Drop? @ Tied up and Ready
- BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare, and Sub-drop (and sometimes Top-drop) @ Chico Munch
- BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare, and Sub-drop (and sometimes Top-drop) @Chico Munch - Subspace, in one sense, is much like an hypnotic trance. A trance is any period of narrowly-focused attention. If you've been "sucked into" a book or movie, such that the world disappeared for a time, you've been in a trance. During a BDSM scene, as you progressively focus more and more on the physical sensations of play, the entire world may disappear, leaving only you, the Top, and whatever is being done to you.At the same time, BDSM quite often involves impacts to the body. During a scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a response of the sympathetic nervous system, which causes a release of epinephrine from the adrenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins and enkephalins.These natural chemicals are a part of the body's primal "fight or flight" response. They produce the same effects as a morphine-like drug. This dump of morphine-like chemicals into one's bloodstream into increases the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense -- and also induces a euphoric, ecstatic floating feeling.Subjectively, subspace is like getting drunk or getting high on drugs. You forget the pain, your problems, all your cares seem to drift away and be obliterated while you're in this state. Some submissives, upon reaching a height of subspace, may lose all sensations of pain, or become incoherent, making safewords useless.The euphoria of subspace (or some parts of it) can last anywhere from hours to days after play. Some people can carry a positive "glow" from play that lasts them for weeks.However, it is also a state of mind that impairs rational thought and decision making skills. It's a state that needs to be monitored carefully for the mental and physical safety and well being of all the parties involved. While it is important to take this into consideration during play, it is especially important to remember this as a scene is winding down and is stopped....DROP Since the increase of hormones and chemicals has produced a trance-like state, as play ends the submissive may feel out-of-body, detached from reality. As the sub's system stops producing morphine-like drugs, and as the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in again, the sub may feel a deep exhaustion, a sharp drop in temperature, as well as incoherence and un-coordination. In the lifestyle, this is commonly referred to as "drop" or "sub-drop"Drop is experienced by athletes and adventurers. Drop happens to Tops and Doms, (though this is often less-well-recognized) for pretty much the same reasons as athletes and adventurers. It also happens to people after high stress situations. After an emergency like a car accident or a break-in, people often find that they go through days where they have a feeling of being adrift, rather than how they are used to feeling.Drop can also happen if play is stopped abruptly. BDSM play is a very vulnerable experience for people. It often involves exposing one's inner-self in ways that one has never before done. Sometimes, inexperienced Tops will begin BDSM play, and then abruptly terminate a scene (perhaps because they rudely decide that someone else would be "more interesting" to play with) and walk away. This can leave the abandoned sub in a *very* down state -- feeling that they engaged their sense of trust to allow a Top to play with them, and that the Top simply let them splatter on the ground."
Aftercare
- Aftercare Archives - Deviance & Desire @ BDSM in the mind
- BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare, and Sub-drop (and sometimes Top-drop) @ Chico Munch
- BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare, and Sub-drop (and sometimes Top-drop) @Chico Munch - Subspace, in one sense, is much like an hypnotic trance. A trance is any period of narrowly-focused attention. If you've been "sucked into" a book or movie, such that the world disappeared for a time, you've been in a trance. During a BDSM scene, as you progressively focus more and more on the physical sensations of play, the entire world may disappear, leaving only you, the Top, and whatever is being done to you.At the same time, BDSM quite often involves impacts to the body. During a scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a response of the sympathetic nervous system, which causes a release of epinephrine from the adrenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins and enkephalins.These natural chemicals are a part of the body's primal "fight or flight" response. They produce the same effects as a morphine-like drug. This dump of morphine-like chemicals into one's bloodstream into increases the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense -- and also induces a euphoric, ecstatic floating feeling.Subjectively, subspace is like getting drunk or getting high on drugs. You forget the pain, your problems, all your cares seem to drift away and be obliterated while you're in this state. Some submissives, upon reaching a height of subspace, may lose all sensations of pain, or become incoherent, making safewords useless.The euphoria of subspace (or some parts of it) can last anywhere from hours to days after play. Some people can carry a positive "glow" from play that lasts them for weeks.However, it is also a state of mind that impairs rational thought and decision making skills. It's a state that needs to be monitored carefully for the mental and physical safety and well being of all the parties involved. While it is important to take this into consideration during play, it is especially important to remember this as a scene is winding down and is stopped....DROP Since the increase of hormones and chemicals has produced a trance-like state, as play ends the submissive may feel out-of-body, detached from reality. As the sub's system stops producing morphine-like drugs, and as the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in again, the sub may feel a deep exhaustion, a sharp drop in temperature, as well as incoherence and un-coordination. In the lifestyle, this is commonly referred to as "drop" or "sub-drop"Drop is experienced by athletes and adventurers. Drop happens to Tops and Doms, (though this is often less-well-recognized) for pretty much the same reasons as athletes and adventurers. It also happens to people after high stress situations. After an emergency like a car accident or a break-in, people often find that they go through days where they have a feeling of being adrift, rather than how they are used to feeling.Drop can also happen if play is stopped abruptly. BDSM play is a very vulnerable experience for people. It often involves exposing one's inner-self in ways that one has never before done. Sometimes, inexperienced Tops will begin BDSM play, and then abruptly terminate a scene (perhaps because they rudely decide that someone else would be "more interesting" to play with) and walk away. This can leave the abandoned sub in a *very* down state -- feeling that they engaged their sense of trust to allow a Top to play with them, and that the Top simply let them splatter on the ground."
Subspace
- Two Kinds of Subspace @ the Journey of Will
- BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare, and Sub-drop (and sometimes Top-drop) @ Chico Munch
- BDSM 101: Subspace, Aftercare, and Sub-drop (and sometimes Top-drop) @Chico Munch - Subspace, in one sense, is much like an hypnotic trance. A trance is any period of narrowly-focused attention. If you've been "sucked into" a book or movie, such that the world disappeared for a time, you've been in a trance. During a BDSM scene, as you progressively focus more and more on the physical sensations of play, the entire world may disappear, leaving only you, the Top, and whatever is being done to you.At the same time, BDSM quite often involves impacts to the body. During a scene, the intense experiences of both pain and pleasure trigger a response of the sympathetic nervous system, which causes a release of epinephrine from the adrenal glands, as well as a dump of endorphins and enkephalins.These natural chemicals are a part of the body's primal "fight or flight" response. They produce the same effects as a morphine-like drug. This dump of morphine-like chemicals into one's bloodstream into increases the pain tolerance of the submissive as the scene becomes more intense -- and also induces a euphoric, ecstatic floating feeling.Subjectively, subspace is like getting drunk or getting high on drugs. You forget the pain, your problems, all your cares seem to drift away and be obliterated while you're in this state. Some submissives, upon reaching a height of subspace, may lose all sensations of pain, or become incoherent, making safewords useless.The euphoria of subspace (or some parts of it) can last anywhere from hours to days after play. Some people can carry a positive "glow" from play that lasts them for weeks.However, it is also a state of mind that impairs rational thought and decision making skills. It's a state that needs to be monitored carefully for the mental and physical safety and well being of all the parties involved. While it is important to take this into consideration during play, it is especially important to remember this as a scene is winding down and is stopped....DROP Since the increase of hormones and chemicals has produced a trance-like state, as play ends the submissive may feel out-of-body, detached from reality. As the sub's system stops producing morphine-like drugs, and as the parasympathetic nervous system kicks in again, the sub may feel a deep exhaustion, a sharp drop in temperature, as well as incoherence and un-coordination. In the lifestyle, this is commonly referred to as "drop" or "sub-drop"Drop is experienced by athletes and adventurers. Drop happens to Tops and Doms, (though this is often less-well-recognized) for pretty much the same reasons as athletes and adventurers. It also happens to people after high stress situations. After an emergency like a car accident or a break-in, people often find that they go through days where they have a feeling of being adrift, rather than how they are used to feeling.Drop can also happen if play is stopped abruptly. BDSM play is a very vulnerable experience for people. It often involves exposing one's inner-self in ways that one has never before done. Sometimes, inexperienced Tops will begin BDSM play, and then abruptly terminate a scene (perhaps because they rudely decide that someone else would be "more interesting" to play with) and walk away. This can leave the abandoned sub in a *very* down state -- feeling that they engaged their sense of trust to allow a Top to play with them, and that the Top simply let them splatter on the ground."
- "which is the variant most commonly described, is induced through sustained pain play, especially from impact toys, e.g. a bare hand, flogger, paddle, cane, etc. It is apparently caused by endorphins, adrenaline, or other body chemistry. The actual sensation varies among individuals. The way it was described to me by a partner experiencing it is a strong whole-body buzzing sensation coupled with an inability to focus her eyes." - @ the Journey of Will
- "It is apparently induced by feeling drawn to a dom." - @ the Journey of Will
Catarsis / release,not orgasm.
- Catharsis, or Being Reduced to a Puddle of Tears During a Scene @Butchtastic - "A catharsis is an opportunity to open up and release emotions that have been suppressed and unexpressed. The scene with Neighbor Femme pulled me right out of my controlling brain and into my body, where my heart has been struggling to come to terms with the changes of the past year. Without that control, everything came rushing out, like a dam being breached. That night was only the beginning of me opening up and letting go. Once I started allowing myself to feel my feelings, it seemed like I couldn’t stop. I’ve cried more in the past week than I have in the past year, but it’s a good thing because holding that much in just isn’t healthy. "
- @Spanking Art
- CATHARTIC FLOGGING Merging the Erotic with the Ecstatic
- The Catharsis Of BDSM: How I Stopped Judging And Took A Chance - "“Being the dom is about creating space for someone to be that level of vulnerable. It’s about making someone feel safe enough to trust you with his or her body.Being a sub is about being so trusting and vulnerable that you literally give your body to someone else.Dominance and discipline is about consent, feeling safe and vulnerability. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?”
Endorphin released/Express emotions through sex
- The Science Behind Spanking @ Is this BDSM
- Neurochemistry and endocrinology of BDSM, Bondage, domination, submission, sadomasochism, biochemistry, endorphin @ Brain Meta
- BDSM Chemistry @ Sir Stomps A lot
- @A Submissive's Journey
- Endorphin Shock @ BDSM Wiki
- The Endorphin Levels in BDSM @ Frisky Business Boutique
&& Body image
- BDSM and Body Image @ BDSM Unveiled - "Unlike our vanilla friends who rarely see large naked bodies, we have many opportunities through play parties and demos to look at, get used to, and eventually admire the soft curves of fat people. It is at first astounding, and then liberating to see a large man or woman walk around a play party stark naked, proud of their body, fully loved. It's hard not to like someone who likes herself so much....I discovered with time and support from my Padrone that my body, with its ability to do all these things we do, to transform pleasure into pain, to bend and twist and tolerate being bound, to find pleasure in all this, was an asset. He always looks at me appreciatively, and, suddenly, I wasn’t invisible. I was fulfilling one of the most fundamental cores that I had been raised to believe was the most important thing in being female—being attractive to men—and I reveled in it. Start by communicating with your body, using affirmations to find the beautiful parts about yourself, not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Listen to what your body has to say, and respect your own path. This is the foundation of self-love. If you love yourself, loving your body will follow....On the practical side, go to some play parties or other public situations where you will be able to observe people of all sizes and shapes enjoying themselves. Replace any critical thoughts in your head with positive ones about the beauty of their bodies, whether it be good skin, soft curves, great butt to spank, strong muscles, or wonderful handfuls of breasts. Talk to your friends about what beautiful thing you saw in this larger person.Developing a Healthy Body Image Listen to your body. Eat when you are hungry.Be realistic about the size you are likely to be based on your genetic and environmental history.Exercise regularly in an enjoyable way, regardless of size.Expect normal weekly and monthly changes in weight and shape.Work towards self acceptance and self forgiveness- be gentle with yourself.Decide how you wish to spend your energy -- pursuing the "perfect body image" or enjoying family, friends, school and, most importantly, life. && more
- Think of the three A's Attention: Refers to listening for and responding to internal cues (i.e., hunger, satiety, fatigue).Appreciation: Refers to appreciating the pleasures your body can provide.Acceptance: Refers to accepting what is -- instead of longing for what is not."