Because so many books and websites are dedicated to how to be "hot" ,sexy , flirty and seductive yet we STILL see the "ugly" person get the guy/girl. Why? While being seductive is awesome and a great way to get the guy / girl, guys and woman really look for someone who can make them laugh, and respects others. You can be the best flirt and hottest person on the planet, but if you can't make a person laugh, forget it. I've seen smart, hot women lose a guy to a dumb, ugly person just because she makes him laugh and makes him feel comfortable.
- 8 Phrases That Signify Zero Respect in a Relationship - I Don't Care.Why Does That Matter to You? That Shouldn't Bother You. That's Ridiculous. You're Making a Big Deal Out of Nothing.You're Overreacting.That's Silly.That's Not My Problem
A sexy bad boy is AJ McLean , or Johnny Depp but some guys just act like rude c*nts. not sexy and not an achievement
a sexy "bad bitch" is Amber Rose, Tess Minster/holiday, even Audrey Hepburn not rude, doesn't body shame others,knows herself,etc.
a sexy "bad bitch" is Amber Rose, Tess Minster/holiday, even Audrey Hepburn not rude, doesn't body shame others,knows herself,etc.
- Amber Rose - How to be a Bad Bitch - "An edgy yet accessible “bad bitch” guide to life, love, and success from Amber Rose, renowned model, entrepreneur, and pop culture personality.Bad Bitch (n.): A self-respecting, strong female who has everything together. This consists of body, mind, finances, and attitude; a woman who gets her way by any means necessary.Amber Rose didn’t let her early years in the tough neighborhood of South Philly keep her from achieving her star-studded goals. From the sets of music videos, to high fashion runways and magazines, to life at home with her beautiful son, Amber doesn’t hesitate to command her personal stage with confidence, edge, attitude, and her own form of grace. For the first time, this renowned model, actress, socialite, pop culture maven, and self-proclaimed “bad bitch” is sharing her secrets on how to lead a powerful life in this edgy yet accessible guide to life, love, and success. With unparalleled candor, “Muva” pulls back the curtain on her rollercoaster of a journey from a young trailblazer to a worldwide phenomenon—and it’s this evolution that has influenced her intoxicating, authoritative outlook on life and love. Filled with expert advice and personal anecdotes, How to Be a Bad Bitch covers finances, career, love, beauty, and fashion while emphasizing confidence, positive self-acceptance, and authenticity.Above all, Amber delivers a message to all women in this fiercely fearless guide: work hard, love yourself, embrace your femininity and sexuality, and most importantly, chase the best vision of you possible."
Stop being selfish
- Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her) by Bryan Reeves - "I was too focused on the anger, insecurities, demands, and other aspects of her strong personality that grated on me. The more I focused on her worst, the more I saw of it, and the more I mirrored it back to her by offering my own worst behavior. Naturally, this only magnified the strain on our relationship … which still made me choose her even less."
- 12 Tips On How To Stop Being Selfish In A Relationship @ New Love Times - 1. Practice putting yourself second 2. Avoid being a jerk!3. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes4. Sort out your wants and needs.5. Enjoy giving the other the spotlight.6. Take in criticism.7. Listen. Really listen. 8. Say, “Thank you!” 9. Stop being the control freak. 10. Remember the important days. 11. Maintain punctuality. 12. Don’t give up on yourself!
- Selfishness In Marriage: How To Overcome & Become A Selfless Spouse by Marcus and Ashley - "If you:Find it difficult to compromise.Believe it all has to be about you.Do not like to give or share.Realize forgiving others is difficult for you, consider yourself as being selfish.Feel as if you are competing with your spouse.Think you are better than your spouse.Only care about yourself."
- 12 Signs You're Being Selfish in the Relationship @ Lovepanky - "#1 Laziness.#2 Your partner usually gives in.#3 You believe your partner nags you.#4 You believe what you do in life is more meaningful and worthwhile. #5 Your partner is flawed. #6 You want it your way. #7 Your ego.#8 You can’t trust your partner easily. #9 You can’t be unselfish. #10 Competitive. #11 You don’t apologize.#12 Emotional blackmail *Note,I don't fully agree with #5, you can be obese and be sexy as heck! and also be thin and be frumpy.
- How Can I Be Less Selfish? @ In Pursuit of Happiness - "At all times, one of my eyes is looking out and another is turned inward – a permanent symbol of my tendency to focus on myself....Ironically, selfish as I may be, my natural tendency is also to fix. I have worked really hard to let go of that need, to learn to trust people to take care of themselves. I don’t want to now, in my desperation to be a “better” person, start barging into people’s lives and offering my help where it’s not wanted."
- How To Stop Being So Selfish in Your Relationship @ Self Growth - 1. Realize That Your Partner Has Their Own Life. 2. Understand That Making Other People Happy Increases Your Happiness. 3. Focus on Making Yourself Happy.
- How to Stop Being Selfish (with Pictures) @ wikiHow - Practice putting yourself last.Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Remember that you're not more important than anyone else.Don't let your past dictate your future.Ask yourself about what you want vs. what you need.Enjoy giving the spotlight to others.Take in the criticism.Make a gratitude list.Do favors for your friends just because.Take the time to really listen. Show an interest in people.Volunteer your time.Get a pet.Help people you know during their times of need.Learn to share. Join a team. Stop talking about yourself.Give a small gift. Learn to compromise. Thank people.Give up the control.
- Spend time with people who are not selfish. Don't interrupt people. Remember birthdays.Keep in touch with your friends, family, and relatives.Compliment other people.Don't butt in front of people in line.Be on time.
- 7 Ways to Be Less Selfish @ mindbodygreen.com - 1. Listen. 2. Put your needs last.3. Put yourself in their shoes.
4. Get off your high horse.5. Do you want to be known as the jerk? 6. Break the habit.7. Let it go.
Gossip
Judging
not respecting their way of thinking
Backstabbing
backbitting
- @ Wikipedia - “Backbiting, backstabbing, or tale-bearing is to slander someone in their absence — to bite them behind their back. Originally, backbiting referred to an unsporting attack from the rear in the blood sport of bearbaiting.”
- What Does Backbiting (Ghaybah) Mean? - Ask a Question to Us - To talk about physical flaws of person.To mention flaws about a person’s clothes.To mention flaws about worldly affairs.To mention flaws about a person’s morals.To mention flaws about a person’s background.”
- Backbiting - Question & Answer - The Official Website of the Office of His Eminence Al-Sayyid Ali Al-Husseini Al-Sistani - “Backbiting means “speaking ill of a believer in their absence of someone with the purpose of disparaging him, no matter whether the alleged shortcoming was related to his body, lineage, behaviour, deeds, statements, religion, or life, and other defects which are [usually] concealed from the people. Similarly, it does not matter whether the description was done by words or by gesture.””
- The Top 5 Misconceptions of Backbiting and How To Respond To Them @ Muslimmatters - Misconception #5: I'm not backbiting, I'm just saying.Misconception #4: I'm not backbiting, everyone already knows about this person, anyway.Misconception #3: I'm not backbiting, I'm warning others about a person's mistakes.Misconception #2: I'm not backbiting, I'll tell them later or I don't care, I can say it to their face.Misconception #1: I'm not backbiting, it's true.
Lashon Hara
- @Wikipedia - “Speech is considered to be lashon hara if it says something negative about a person or party, is not previously known to the public, is not seriously intended to correct or improve a negative situation, and is true. “
- Laws of Lashon Hara - Parshat Behaalotecha - Chabad.org - “Lashon hara literally means “bad talk.” This means that it is forbidden to speak negatively about someone else, even if it is true.It is also forbidden to repeat anything about another, even if it is not a negative thing. This is called rechilut.It is also forbidden to listen to lashon hara....Even if one has already heard the lashon hara, it is forbidden to believe it....In certain circumstances, such as to protect someone from harm, it is permissible or even obligatory to share negative information. As there are many details to this law, one should consult a competent rabbi to learn what may be shared in any particular situation.”
- Speaking Lashon Hara – When It’s Permissible @ Torah.org
- Lashon Hara @ Halachipedia - “3.It’s equally forbidden whether one volunteered or if one was asked for information where one will come to say Lashon Hara or Avak Lashon Hara. One should not listen to one’s father or Rabbi to say Lashon Hara or Avak Lashon Hara...7.Even if while saying Lashon Hara one also degrades oneself it’s still forbidden.”
- What is Lashon Hara? @ Torah.org - “Lashon Hara is any derogatory or damaging statement against an individual. In Hilchot Deot 7:5, Maimonides supplies a litmus test for determining whether something is or isn’t Lashon Hara:”
- Speech and Lashon HaRah @ Jewish Virtual Library - “It is a violation of this mitzvah to say anything about another person, even it is true, even if it is not negative, even if it is not secret, even if it hurts no one, even if the person himself would tell the same thing if asked!”
***Show kindness to others, be sensitive to the needs of others, and empathize with your loved ones and even people you may not like so much!
Leave to the comics.
Deadpan (dry humor), sarcasm,
Reasons to not use this type of humor :It can get lost in translation and your partner or friends (especially if sensitive) may not pick up on it.
- "Deadpan is an adjective, describing a deliberately emotionless and otherwise impassive, matter-of-fact manner. It is also a form of comic delivery in which humor is presented without a change in emotion or body language. It is usually spoken in a casual, monotone, or cantankerous voice, and expresses a calm, sincere, or grave demeanor, often in spite of the ridiculousness of the subject matter. This delivery is also called dry humor or dry wit, when the intent, but not the presentation, is humorous, blunt, oblique, sarcastic, laconic, or apparently unintentional." - Wikipedia
- What Is Deadpan Comedy? : Comedy Tips @eHow
- STEPHEN WRIGHT'S DEADPAN HUMOR @FreMan Institute
Absurdity /exaggeration
Reasons to not use this type of humor: You can be seen as a liar if the other person does not pick up on it. If they dont and you have to explain it to them, it may make them feel inferior and that you are being condescending if you are not trying to be.
Sarcasm
- "Sarcasm is the use of irony to mock or convey contempt. "The distinctive quality of sarcasm is present in the spoken word and manifested chiefly by vocal inflections". The sarcastic content of a statement will be dependent upon the context in which it appears...sarcasm is hypothesized to develop as a cognitive and emotional tool that adolescents use in order to test the borders of politeness and truth in conversation. Sarcasm recognition and expression both require the development of understanding forms of language, especially if sarcasm occurs without a cue or signal (e.g., a sarcastic tone or rolling the eyes). Sarcasm is argued to be more sophisticated than lying because lying is expressed as early as the age of three, but sarcastic expressions take place much later during development (Brant, 2012). According to Brant (2012, 145-6), sarcasm is" - Wikipedia
- "In English, sarcasm is often telegraphed with kinesic/prosodic cues[19] by speaking more slowly and with a lower pitch. Similarly, Dutch uses a lowered pitch; sometimes to such an extent that the expression is reduced to a mere mumble. But other research shows that there are many ways that real speakers signal sarcastic intentions. One study found that in Cantonese, sarcasm is indicated by raising the fundamental frequency of one's voice - Wikipedia
Farce
"In theatre, a farce is a comedy that aims at entertaining the audience through situations that are highly exaggerated, extravagant, and thus improbable.[1] Farces are often highly incomprehensible plot-wise (due to the many plot twists and random events that occur), but viewers are encouraged not to try to follow the plot in order to avoid becoming confused and overwhelmed. Farce is also characterized by physical humor, the use of deliberate absurdity or nonsense, and broadly stylized performances. Farces have been written for the stage and film. Furthermore, a farce is also often set in one particular location, where all events occur." - Wikipedia
This stuff is funny as heck!:
Toilet humor
Toilet humor - I find this is great because it oddly helps couples feel closer and less "intimidated" with each other. It is great for breaking up arguments and lightening the mood. Plus,who doesn't laugh at fart jokes. Stay away from dick jokes boob jokes and any other body shaming joke. That shniz isn't cool. Leave insult comedy it to Lisa Lampanelli and Andrew Dice Clay. Farting, burping,pooping, && picking nose
- "Toilet humour, or scatological humour, is a type of off-colour humour dealing with defecation, urination, and flatulence, and to a lesser extent vomiting and other body functions." - Wikipedia
- Toilet Humor: 10 Fun, Funny & Situationally Appropriate Prints for Bathroom Walls
- 14 Dumb Examples Of Toilet Humor Guaranteed To Make You Laugh @ Buzzfeed
- The Dirtiest Toilet Humor Book Ever Paperback by Michael Ryan
- "Flatulence humour or flatulence humor refers to any type of joke, practical joke device, or other off-color humor related to flatulence." - Wikipedia
- Fart jokes @Sickpedia
- Fart jokes @ jokes 4 us
- top 10 short fart jokes uploaded by Doctor Dinamite
- @SillyJokes
Making funny face/funny gestures/ Physical humor
- "Physical comedy is a form of comedy focused on manipulation of the body for a humorous affect. It can include slapstick, clowning, mime, physical stunts, or making funny faces.Physical comedy originated as part of the Commedia dell'arte. It is now sometimes incorporated into sitcoms; for example, in the sitcom Three's Company, actor John Ritter frequently performed pratfalls (landing on the buttocks). Cartoons also commonly depict physical comedy, such as in Tom and Jerry and Wile E. Coyote and The Road Runner Buster Keaton, The Three Stooges, Laurel and Hardy, Benny Hill, Lucille Ball, Martin Short, Chevy Chase, Don Knotts, Jerry Lewis, Chris Farley, Johnny Lever, Zach Braff, Lee Evans, Dick van Dyke's character Rob Petrie on The Dick Van Dyke Show, Tim Conway's character Ensign Charles "Chuck" Parker on McHale's Navy, Larry Hagman's character Major Anthony Nelson on I Dream of Jeannie, John Ritter's character Jack Tripper on Three's Company, Jim Carrey's character Stanley Ipkiss in The Mask, Michael Richards's character Cosmo Kramer on Seinfeld, Neil Morrissey's character Tony in Men Behaving Badly, Dustin Diamond's character Samuel "Screech" Powers on Saved by the Bell, Danny Dyer's character John Smith in the film Run for Your Wife, Jim Varney's character Ernest P. Worrell, Rowan Atkinson's character Mr. Bean, Jaleel White's character Steve Urkel on Family Matters, and Jason Lee's character Brodie Bruce in Mallrats are all examples of comedians who employ physical comedy as a medium for their characters. Charlie Chaplin started his film career as a physical comedian; although he developed additional means of comic expression, Chaplin's mature works continued to contain elements of slapstick. Slapstick elements include the trip, the slip, the double take, the collide, the fall (faint) and the roar." - Wikipedia
- 15 Facial Expressions that Prove Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a Comedy Legend by Mia Galuppo
- Actor Tips Episode 13 'Facial Expressions' | Be A Hollywood Star |uploaded by Chicago Comedy Film Festival
Silent Comedy
"Silent comedy is a style of film, related to but distinct from mime, invented to bring comedy into the medium of film in the silent film era (1900s–1920s) before a synchronized soundtrack which could include talking was technologically available for the majority of films. Silent comedy is still practiced, albeit much less frequently, and it has influenced comedy in modern media as well.Silent comedies often place heavy emphasis on visual and physical humors, often including "sight gags", to tell stories and entertain the viewer. Many of these physical gags are exaggerated forms of violence which came to be called "slapstick". The "prat fall", slipping on a banana peel, getting soaked with water, and getting a pie thrown in one's face are all classic examples of slapstick comedy devices." - Wikipedia
Cringe Comedy
- Violet Benson @ IG // Daddy Issues @ IG // Official site
Observational comedy
- Violet Benson @ IG // Daddy Issues @ IG // Official site
goofy & Quirky deadpan
About comedy/humor
Inherently funny word
Note:Affirmations towards them such as I am grateful for you, you are doing great, you did good,etc.
Be humble
- How Being Humble, Kind, and Calm Will Make Your Life Easier by Patrick Allan
- 50 Ways to Be More Humble and to Act Humbly @ Learn This
- 7 Ways To Tell If You're A Truly Humble Person @ Huffington Post - They're conscientious.They know good things lie ahead -- and they’re OK waiting for them.
- How to Be Humble @ Wikihow - Accepting Your Limitations.Recognize your own faults......
- How to Be Humble—7 Disciplines You Can Practice Almost Every Day
- 8 Psychological Benefits of Being Humble @PsyBlog - 1. Soothe the soul 2. Excellence in leadership 3. Higher self-control 4. Better work performance 5. Higher grades 6. Less prejudice 7. More helpful 8. Better relationships
- 10 Ways to Tell if Someone Is Humble @ Christian Post
Appreciate/ tell them you APPRECIATE them
- 9 Simple Ways You Can Show Appreciation | Inc.com
- 16 Ways to Show Your Appreciation for Someone You Love @ Love Panky - #1 Cook them dinner....#2 Leave post-its hidden in his room...#3 Buy her flowers for no reason...#4 Ask about their day...#5 Have more oral...#6 Make a heart-shaped breakfast....#7 Dress up for your partner....#8 Greet them when they come home....#9 Start his car when it’s cold outside...#10 Leave love notes in his lunch....#11 Run her a bubble bath....#12 Send her a “Thinking of you – So think of me!” care package...#13 Start your day with a text or video saying what you love about them...#14 Turn your phone/computer/tv off....#15 Never go to bed angry....#16 Don’t forget your manners.
- Show Your Appreciation in 10 Simple Ways @ Coach for your Dream
- 20 Ways To Show Appreciation And Gratitude For Others @ A Plus
- How to show appreciation in a friendship @ Military One Click
- How to show appreciation to your husband @ Family Share
- Ways To Show Appreciation To Others — iBloom
- The Power of Showing Your Appreciation @ Little Things Matter
- 5 Ways to Show Appreciation in Your Relationship @ YourTango
- 5 Ways to Show Your Appreciation to Your Partner (and Save Your Relationship in the Process) @ Huffington Post - 1) Notice the Little Things...2) Notice the Big Things...3) Support Your Partner’s Passions...4) Compliment Your Partner...5) Date Your Partner
- 50 Ways to Show Gratitude for the People in Your Life @ Tiny Buddha
- What are You Thankful For? How to Show Appreciation Over the Holidays @ Brian Tracy
- Eight Easy Ways to Show Appreciation for the Girls [& Guys] in Your Life @ Girls Empowerment Network
- 5 quick ways to show appreciation to your spouse by Dave Willis - 1. Take the time to say, “THANK YOU” often....2. Show consideration to your spouse in EVERY decision you make....3. Show common courtesy.
- 7 Ways to Show Appreciation | Relationships in Balance @ Psych Central -1) Say “thank you”...2) Recognize “little things”.......3) Reciprocation...4) Phone calls on birthdays....5) Do a “favor” for your partner/family/friends....6) A small, meaningful gift....7) Be open to learning about yourself....
- 10 ways to shower your spouse with appreciation @ SoundVision.com
- 12 Ways to Say Thank You and to Show Appreciation @ Success Consciousness
- [Pic:] "Have you ever just looked at someone and thought,' I really love you'. There're just talking..."
- 50 Ways to Show Gratitude for the People in Your Life
- 10 Things to Tell Your Husband Everyday by Alex Blackwell l Love and Marriage l Compliment Your Spouse l Communication in Marriage - Beliefnet.com
how important being (at least a little tiny bit) smart is in a relationship.
Are you a basic b!tch/bro?
To me, a basic b*tch is someone who is all of these things, but doesn't care about being educated. Not someone who is ditzy and dumb, but may be kindhearted. A basic, to me, is someone who is not-well educated, doesn't work well with others, narcissstic,dumb and only cares about being popular.
These people care more about makeup and PSL than books and being kind to each other
Don't be basic, expand your mind, read books, learn compassion and know that PSL are great while reading a book.
- "Basic bitch, or simply basic, is a slangterm in American popular culture used to pejoratively describe women (usually white) who like popular, mainstream products or music. The term originated in hip-hop culture and began to appear in rap music in 2010. It rose in popularity through songs, blogs, and videos from 2011 to 2014, when the basic bitch phenomenon was parodied by College Humor. Interpretations of the term vary and its use has been criticized for being an overly vague and a misogynistic insult.Their male counterparts are usually termed "basic bros" - Wikipedia
- @ Urban Dictionary
To me, a basic b*tch is someone who is all of these things, but doesn't care about being educated. Not someone who is ditzy and dumb, but may be kindhearted. A basic, to me, is someone who is not-well educated, doesn't work well with others, narcissstic,dumb and only cares about being popular.
These people care more about makeup and PSL than books and being kind to each other
Don't be basic, expand your mind, read books, learn compassion and know that PSL are great while reading a book.
intellectual orgasms
- Intellectual Orgasm!!! @ World as I Think
- @Urban Dictionary - “When you hear something that is so profound, brilliant, or novel, that it blows your mind.”
- Intellectual Masturbation (Sex is not only physical) ( Poem)@ Poor Magazine
- Dissecting Society: Intellectual Eroticism @ Max Couti - “Meeting and having someone capable of stimulating your intellect and, of teaching you new things everyday, is more precious than silver and gold all together.”
- CCOs and Intellectual Orgasms? - Welcome - The Dao Bums
- Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac @Ram.org
sapiosexual
topics
- "one time he and i were sitting in bed and i said “where do you feel stuff?” and he said “what do you mean” and i said, “here is anxiety” and pointed to my bottom left rib....we play this game until we come to love, and i realize that i am terrified (jugular vein) of what might come. what if it is not the same. what if he feels it somewhere else..."
- "I hate small talk.I wanna talk about atoms, death,aliens,sex,magic,intellect,the meaning of life,faraway galaxies,music.... I don't want to know 'what's up'"
You're not always going to agree
Selfish people who do not make sacrifices
this is more about people who only think of themselves. Not like, sacrificing your goals in life or anything.
- He Took His Skin Off For Me: EXPLAINED uploaded by YouTube Explained - ""He Took His Skin Off For Me": A brilliant little short film with a real message behind it."
Interpersonal Psychotherapy
communication IQ skills
- How to Talk to a Person with Borderline Personality Disorder BPD - YouTube
- Interpersonal Communication by Kory Floyd
- [Pic:] How to talk to someone with depression @ Bipolar support
- Tips for Communicating with Someone With Borderline Disorder
- [Pic:] 5 things to say to someone with BPD from Borderline Personality Disorder fb page
- Therapy worksheets related to Communication @ Therapists Aid
- How to Communicate When Frustrated or Angry - 10 Things You Must Know from Pinch Me Living
- **Talking About Your Feelings: Dos and Don'ts @ Value Opinions
- **How to Talk to a Man in a Way that Won’t Make him Pull Away and Go Cold by Renee Wade
- 10 Tips to Express Anger in a Healthy Way
- Know your/your partner's communication style
- Don't Have A Clue What Your GF/BF Is Saying? Here's 10 Guidelines By John Gray @YourTango
- 5 Ways Men & Women Communicate Differently @ PsychCentral
- How To Communicate Effectively With Him in a Relationship @ How to win a man's heart
- Male and Female Communication: Differences Worth Noting @Achieve Solutions
- Make Him BEG for Your Attention: 75 Communication Secrets for Captivating Men to Get the Love and Commitment You Deserve by Bruce Bryans
- Interpersonal Communications @ Woah Lotta Info/Calm Mind OpenHeart
- SET communication
- Support, Empathy, Truth - SET for Borderline Personality Submitted by Bill Herring
- Secrets of S.E.T. (Support/Empathy/Truth) Statements @ Psychology Today
- Support, Empathy, Truth - SET for Borderline Personality @ About
- "Some people process their "thoughts" through their "feelings." You can ask them what they are thinking and they will say things like:"I don't know""Nothing""Not much""Nothing important""" - 18 Ways to Handle the Argumentative Person by Kevin Hogan
Emotional IQ /Emotional literacy skills
- How to Help Someone Who Feels Suicidal @ The Mighty - Validate feelings, don't judge, don't try to "fix" it,etc. Just be there.
- Bipolar Manifesto :: Effectively Managing A Bipolar Relationship - 1. Walk In The Other Person’s Shoes 2. The Importance Of Motive Behind Unwell Actions 3. A Reason, Not An Excuse 4. How Do I Help An Unwell Loved One? 5. Interacting With An Unwell Loved One 6. Minimizing Damage
- **How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 1 By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
- **How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 2 By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
- **How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 1 By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
- **How to Help a Loved One with Borderline Personality Disorder, Part 2 By Margarita Tartakovsky, M.S.
- Emotional Intelligence Toolkit: Reduce Stress and Build Emotional Health @ HelpGuide
- Woah, lotta Info!: EmotionalIQ
- The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide To Character Expression: Angela Ackerman, Becca Puglisi: 9781475004953: Amazon.com: Books
- Tips on Effectively Conveying Character Emotion | Self-Publishing Author Advice from The Alliance of Independent Authors
- Emotional Competency - Explore the Logic of Passion
- Emotional Intelligence @ WLI (my other blog)
- Emotional IQ @ CalmMind Open Heart
- Love Skill #5: Honor & Speak Your Feelings by Scott Peck
- How To Talk About Your Emotions & Express Your Feelings: Communication Skills in 2 minutes by
Moses Nasser - Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships by Daniel Golema
- Truth About Deception - "We are a group of scholars, scientists, and working professions interested in sharing information about why people lie to, and cheat on, those they love. More importantly, all of the articles provided on our site are written by someone who has a PhD in one of the social sciences, except for the section on politicians and infidelity and our featured blog.Personally, we have all been deeply hurt by a loved one who has betrayed our trust." Has tips and advice about how to talk about problems,overcome trust issues,etc
- Morehead Family Rules! - Respectfulness, Responsible, fun to be around. Ask "How can i help","I am listening," "Let's do this together."etc.
- Rick Goodfriend official site // Youtube channel
- 8 Ways to Guide Him to Your Clitoris @ Cosmo
- Emotional Intelligence Toolkit: Reduce Stress and Build Emotional Health @HelpGuide
- Cathar Love Youtube playlist by Johny Bineham
- What is an empathy gap? - "A hot-cold empathy gap is a cognitive bias in which a person underestimates the influences of visceral drives, and instead attributes behavior primarily to other, nonvisceral factors.For example, when one is angry, it is difficult to understand what it is like for one to be happy, and vice versa; when one is blindly in love with someone, it is difficult to understand what it is like for one not to be, (or to imagine the possibility of not being blindly in love in the future).
- Empathic accuracy - "empathic accuracy refers to how accurately one person can infer the thoughts and feelings of another person.
- What is emotional contagion?
- If Girlfriends Were Honest When Arguing from Buzzfeed - Funny, but actually makes a good point. Be honest, open and communicate! If you are having a bad day recognize it and just tell your partner.
- Check out EQI (Emotional IQ resources and tips)
- "Radical honesty is about saying what you mean and meaning what you say, but never saying it mean..." Timber Hawkeye
- Respect Wheel RW from Lessons from Literature
- Read/listen to Working with Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman
- Daniel Goleman's five components of emotional intelligence @ Sonoma
- Read Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goleman
- Emotional Revolution from Lady Gaga, Cynthia Germanotta & Yale
- 18 Signs of High Emotional Intelligence from The Mind Unleashed
- How to Love a Girl Who Doesn’t Know How to Be Loved.
- - be more trusting like this girl..."I honestly don't give a f*kk about her..She leans in for a kiss you get the f*k up and walk away..."
- Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn
- Key & Peele - Text Message Confusion
- Tips, advice for being an assistant (tools for communication. time management)
Listening skills
Reflective listening:
Intuition pump
acivities to increase empathy
- Activities for Kids on the Autism Spectrum @ the School Counseling Files - Feelings Charades.Silent Greetings.Create a Board Game.Make Your Own Comic Book.One Change.Art Mirror.Pass a Feeling.Comic Strip Challenge.Eye Spy Game.Repeat Pete.Pragmatic Puppets.Bodyguar
- There is no intensity of love... It is a duty to take this risk... - William S. Burroughs
- [Pic:] "If someone really loves you... feelings for you wouldn't change..."
- Scared Separate by David Truman - Chapter 1 - Unbreak Your Heart.Chapter 2 - Take Off Your Fear-Colored Glasses. Chapter 3 - The World Social Fear Is Creating. Chapter 4 - What's Really Killing Love. Chapter 5 - Healthy Dependence and Independence. Chapter 6 - How to Create Love That's Worth Living For.Chapter 7 - Love Over Ego
- - be more trusting like this girl..."I honestly don't give a f*kk about her..She leans in for a kiss you get the f*k up and walk away..."
Ego- Consciousness
- From ego to heart I - Four stages in the transformation of consciousness @ Jeshua (dot) net
- The Conscious Ego & the Creator's Love by Dr. Daniel Condron - "The word EGO means I AM. The I AM or identity that is you, your core essence, in using mind moves into first the Superconscious Mind, then Subconscious Mind, then the Conscious Mind. The attention of I AM moved through the levels and divisions of Mind until finally you become entrapped in the physical body and conscious mind. At this point the physically entrapped I AM is known as the conscious ego.Therefore, every person has a conscious ego that is a reflection of I AM. The conscious ego has accepted the limitations of the conscious mind and physical body. However, there is a way out of these limitations of physical existence for the conscious ego is the motivator. On a physical level the conscious ego motivates you to achieve physical goals and accumulate or possess physical objects."
- Alan Watts ~ On Ego and Consciousness uploaded by monkeykeiths
- Shedding the Ego: Moving Towards the Soul | Wake Up World
Egotistical
- Top 10 Things That Make You Look Egotistical @Be Happy Tips - 1. You Post Your Workout Schedule Or Weight Loss Results On Facebook.2. You Judge Other People – Constantly 3. You Don’t Listen To Other People When They Talk 4. You Think Everyone Notices You When You Walk Into…Anywhere 5. You Think All Of Your Friend’s Partners Want You 6. You Laugh When Other People Tell You Their Feelings Or Beliefs – Or Anything Personal That You Don’t Agree With 7. You Play Games With People You Are Intimately Interested In 8. You Cannot Go Out Of The House With A Lot Of Prep Work 9. You Openly Call Yourself Hot In Front Of Everyone 10. You Talk About How Fat You Are In Front Of Your Fat Friends
- "Egotism is the drive to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself, and generally features an inflated opinion of one's personal features and importance. It often includes intellectual, physical, social and other overestimations.[1]
- The egotist has an overwhelming sense of the centrality of the 'Me', that is to say of their personal qualities.[2] Egotism means placing oneself at the core of one's world with no concern for others, including those "loved" or considered as "close," in any other terms except those subjectively set by the egotist." - Wikipedia
- @ Urban Dictionary
Ego Death/Loss
- "Ego death is a "complete loss of subjective self-identity." The term is being used in various intertwined contexts, with related meanings.In Jungian psychology the synonymous term psychic death is used, which refers to a fundamental transformation of the psyche. In the death and rebirth mythology ego death is a phase of self-surrender and transition, as described by Joseph Campbell in his research on the mythology of the Hero's Journey. It is a recurrent theme in world mythology and is also used as a metaphor in some strands of contemporary western thinking" - Wikipedia
- Shroomery - Howto: Ego Death - "Ego death is the absence of who you have built yourself to be. It is the splitting of the mind when it first begins to happen, and the ability to truly LOOK at who you normally are, without rationalizing your flaws which you might normally do. It can be one of the most beautiful experiences in your life, but even more, if understood and dealt with properly, it can be more then just a single experience, but a way of life. But furthermore, it will draw out extreme hurt and pain because you will have uncovered a mask that the "real you" normally wears, and is so comfortable in wearing. It strips away your security of who you are, and it will be very clear to you that there are some serious issues with who you are that need to be dealt with. It is the feeling that you are speaking with your own mind, or watching the person you usually are on a movie screen, and a person with the opinion of only wanting the best in this world sits watching. But.. Let me make this very clear: There are very REAL positive and negative effects of ego death. These effects are the reason I am writing this report. "
- Ego Death (dot) com
- Learning From An Ego Death @ Collective-Evolution - Talks about psychedelics, but you can achieve ego death without psychedelics
Ego
- 6 Signs Your Ego Is Out Of Control And How You Can Tame It - 1. You're excessively judgmental of others.2. You have no patience.3. You complain and argue constantly.4. You are terribly defensive.5. You speak badly about yourself.6. You can't apologize.
- Are You at Risk of an Unnecessary Divorce? The Secret Relationship Killer You Need to Know About
- Relationship Reasons For Divorce
- Why do so many women file for divorce?
- The tragedy of relationships is that we allow hurt to bury love that isn't dead.
- "Before you say something stop and think how you'd feel if someone said it to you." - Spirit Science
- 11 SECRETS TO ENDING FIGHTS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
- Love Over Ego
- Scared Separate by David Truman - Chapter 1 - Unbreak Your Heart.Chapter 2 - Take Off Your Fear-Colored Glasses. Chapter 3 - The World Social Fear Is Creating. Chapter 4 - What's Really Killing Love. Chapter 5 - Healthy Dependence and Independence. Chapter 6 - How to Create Love That's Worth Living For.Chapter 7 - Love Over Ego
- What the heck is Conscious Uncoupling? - Just because the relationship ends doesn't men you can't stay friends. Ego kills good relationships both Platonic and romantically.
- What is The Third Option?
- "I will wait for you" by Official P4CM Poet JANETTE - shows a great example of the absence of ego.
- "I Waited for You" spoken word by Janette McGhee Watson - shows a great example of the absence of ego
Say Sorry
- "as goddesses,we can take the high ground so when we have an argument we can see it for what it is: silly, petty, juvenile..." - Nadia Sawalha Opens The Gates Of Hell! uploaded by Loose Women
- Justin Bieber - Sorry - @ Youtube // @ genius . He is right, fights and arguments start because of BOTH parties. You are just at fault as the other party is.
- "Apologizing doesn't always mean you are wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego."
- [Forget] breaking up over lil' arguments or disagreements.We gon...
- Say sorry about the little things (chart/pic)
- being stubborn and narcissistic - [Pic:] "This picture speaks a thousand words." *drawing of brains fighting and hearts trying to hold each other
Forgive
Hoʻoponopono
- Ho'oponopono, Mantra Meditation, Hawaiian Prayer, Theta Binaural Beats, Hooponopono uploaded by Jason Stephenson
- "Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is an ancient Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. Similar forgiveness practices were performed on islands throughout the South Pacific, including Samoa, Tahiti and New Zealand. Traditionally hoʻoponopono is practiced by healing priests or kahuna lapaʻau among family members of a person who is physically ill. Modern versions are performed within the family by a family elder, or by the individual alone." - Wikipedia
- Hoʻoponopono - Clarifying the Forgiveness Prayer @ William Bloom
- Playlists @ Youtube
- Hoʻoponopono – A Mantra @ The Master Shift
- @ Present Love
- @ Sovereignty Of Love
- @ Reiki Rays
- Welcome to the Ho'oponopono cleaning meditations and prayers!
- Sovereignty Of Love
- Hoʻoponopono Grandmother Earth uploaded by MindDetox
- Hoʻoponopono Ancient and Modern uploaded by Zelie Duvauchelle
- Gratitude Spoken Meditation | Hoʻoponopono Ancient Hawaiian Prayer uploaded by Jason Stephenson
Self-compassion (many of this page, even though it is directed towards compassion for others, can be used to show YOURSELF some compassion. Just substitute "others" "them" for "yourself," and "you," and things like that.
Lovey Dovey Stuff
@ my site, Superstar Harlot
Lovey Dovey Stuff
@ my site, Superstar Harlot
Acknowledge that life DOES suck. We need to be able to acknowledge sadness.
- Being Jollied Along uploaded by The School of Life - Sadness is not something that needs to be cured. Sometimes we just need someone to acknowledge to us that life does indeed suck.
Just BE there/ Check on them
- "I asked my girlfriend if she is okay a lot...I finally realize why I do this. When I was falling apart no one asked me if I was okay."
- "People don't always need advice...hand to hold.." quote
- [Pic:] One person who is sad has a friend who lays down with him or her
- "Im Here. I love you.I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long, I will stay with you...." - Elizabeth Gilbert: Eat, Pray, Love
- [Pic:] "I can't promise to solve all your problem, I can only promise that i'll never let you face them alone."
Don't tell them to calm down, or cheer up.
Hugs
Cute things to do for someone.
Read a certain book together
Sing a song
Make them a nice warm meal/snack
Rub their back
Run them a bath
Do sexual things with them. if they are not in the mood to have sex, try oral.if not, don't push it.
Stroke their hair
etc.
- Help out someone suffering BPD,Depression,etc :When you sense or see him or her tensing up or getting mad by WLI
- Cute things to say/do for someone(especially one who is suffering from depression/BPD,etc)
- Cute things to say/do for someone(especially one who is suffering from depression/BPD,etc) Pt 2
- [Pic:] Every night she rubs cream on my scars and tells me how handsome I am. "
Read a certain book together
Sing a song
- "When my friends are sad." - [Dude dancing and singing " love yourself, accept yourself."
Make them a nice warm meal/snack
Rub their back
Run them a bath
Do sexual things with them. if they are not in the mood to have sex, try oral.if not, don't push it.
Stroke their hair
etc.
Make someone smile (may not work for everyone)
*Pokes with stick* How to comfort someone
Altruism
- Altruism in Humans - C. Daniel Batson @ Oxford University Press
- Altruism @ Psychology Today
- "Altruists choose to align their well-being with others - so they are happy when others thrive, sad when others are suffering. Essential in establishing strong relationships, most societies acknowledge the importance of altruism within the family. By motivating cooperation rather than conflict, it promotes harmony within communities of any size. Of course, peace within communities does not necessarily herald peace between communities, and the two may even be inversely related - witness for example, the way in which social strife tends to decrease within countries at war." - Altruists (dot) com
- "the principle or practice of unselfish concern for or devotion to the welfare of others." - Dictionary
- "Altruism or selflessness is the principle or practice of concern for the welfare of others. It is a traditional virtue in many cultures and a core aspect of various religious traditions and secular worldviews, though the concept of "others" toward whom concern should be directed can vary among cultures and religions. Altruism or selflessness is the opposite of selfishness. The word was coined by the French philosopher Auguste Comte in French, as altruisme, for an antonym of egoism. He derived it from the Italian altrui, which in turn was derived from Latin alteri, meaning "other people" or "somebody else"" - Wikipedia
- Altruistic Men Are More Attractive to Women @Pacific Standard
Empathy- Altruism
- "Empathy-Altruism Hypothesis Abstract: The empathy-altruism hypothesis is rooted in the study of pro-social behavior and attempts to explain when and why people help. Altruism is the unselfish regard for the well being of others. To explain this behavior, Batson (1991) proposed that altruism is associated with the degree of initial empathy (the emotional response felt toward the welfare of another), the benefit to the empathic person, and the ease of psychological escape. Batson feels that “the motivation behind some helpful actions is truly altruistic”. However, others, such as Cialdini (1988) argue that altruism does not exist and that helpful behavior is better explained by the relationship of the other to the self known as oneness, defined by Cialdini as being a measure of perceived self." - Psych Wiki
- "Empathy-altruism is a form of altruism based on feelings for others.The social exchange theory states that altruism does not exist unless benefits to the helper outweigh the costs. C. Daniel Batson disagrees. He holds that people help others in need out of genuine concern for the well-being of the other person. The key ingredient to helping is "empathic concern". According to his 'empathy-altruism hypothesis', if you feel empathy towards another person you will help them, regardless of what you can gain from it (1991). Relieving their suffering becomes the most important thing. When you do not feel empathy, the social exchange theory takes control.Batson recognized that people sometimes helped out of selfish reasons. He and his team were interested in finding ways to distinguish between the motives. " - Wikipedia
- Culture of Empathy Builder: Dan Batson @ Culture of Empathy
Durable Triangle
- "The Durable Triangle shows the durable roles that people act-out in daily life that are stable, satisfactory, repeated, emotionally cooperative and generate clarity and comfort for both people, on a regular basis, for short and long term results.The switching that occurs between Persevere - Reach-Out -Vulnerable generates the flexibility of thoughts and feelings that occur when people have open agendas, maintain dignity, and then discuss with dignity, patience, integrity, and love in their heart.The value of being in the Durable Triangle is that people DO havestable [Parent-Adult] limits on behavior. There is guidance -people are in rational control and do use enough words toidentify the problem and will do the problem-solving." - TA Tutor
Shaman
- 10 Signs You’re a Shaman & Don’t Know It Posted by Lissa Rankin - 1. You sense that you’re meant to participate in the global shift in consciousness that is currently underway. 2. You’ve been through a difficult initiation, which has prepared you for this leadership role.3. You are an introvert.4. You feel most at home in nature.5. You’re very sensitive.6. You feel a sort of spiritual calling to ease the suffering of people, animals, and nature.7. Physical ailments that fall under the category of “shaman sickness.” 8. You tend to have vivid dreams. 9. You may discover unusual spiritual superpowers, or what the yogis call “siddhis.”10. You’ve always felt like you don’t quite belong anywhere, because you are a bridge.
Brahmavihara
- Buduguna bhawanawa parts 1-2 videos from Youtube & Wellawatte Seelagawesi Thero
- The Practice of Brahma Vihara part 1-2 Videos from Youtube & Wellawatte Seelagawesi Thero
- The Four Brahma Vihara by Ven. Dr. Punnaji (video from Youtube)
- See text of the Brahmavihara Dhamma -Ven.Mahasi Sayadaw
- Brahma-vihara: The Four Divine States or Four Immeasurables by Barbara O'Brien @ About (dot) co
Connection
Ahimsa
Noble Eightfold Path
Verstehen
Perspective-taking
Unconditional positive regard (UPR)
empathic understanding
Ren (Confucianism)
Emotion Contagion
Concern for Others
Perceptive Engagement
Emotion Regulation
Empathic Accuracy
Affective empathy
Cognitive empathy
Somatic empathy
Anticipation of what a partner knows
Phases in grounding
Evidence in conversation
8 Media constraints on grounding
Common Ground (Communication Technique)
Situation awareness
mid cingulate cortex
dorsomedial prefrontal cortex
insula
Common coding theory
"Compassion focused therapy (CFT) is a system of psychotherapy developed by Paul Gilbert that integrates techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy with concepts from evolutionary psychology, social psychology, developmental psychology, Buddhist psychology, and neuroscience. "One of its key concerns is to use compassionate mind training to help people develop and work with experiences of inner warmth, safeness and soothing, via compassion and self-compassion."The central therapeutic technique of CFT is compassionate mind training, which teaches the skills and attributes of compassion.Compassionate mind training helps transform problematic patterns of cognition and emotion related to anxiety, anger, shame, self-criticism,depersonalization, and hypomania." - Wikipedia